A hippie dies and goes to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter looks him up, and says, "I'm sorry, but you'll be going down to Hell." The hippie, astounded, peers through the gates and sees God walking in the distance. "God!" he says. "What gives? Remember that time I was tripping on acid? I saw you,…

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Jesus decided to go say hi to his old buddy St. Peter, so he strolled out to the Pearly Gates and noticed a HUGE long line of people waiting to get in. St. Peter saw Jesus coming and said "Oh, thank goodness someone showed up! Listen, Jesus, there's a huge line of people out here,…

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A minister asked a little boy how to get to the Post Office. After the little boy told him, the minister said, "Why don't you come to church tonight? I'm giving instructions on how to get to heaven." After thinking a minute, the boy replied, "I don't think so. You don't even know how to…

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Four Catholic schoolgirls all die in a car accident. They wind up at the Pearly Gates, and St. Peter says: "You're all virgins, so I can let all of you in, but first I have to take your confessions. Tell me anything you've done that is impure." The first girl steps up and says, "St.…

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