Adam’s Asshole

“When God made man there was only one. The various parts argued about who would be boss. The hands said they should be boss, because they did all the work. The feet thought they should be boss, because they took man where he could do the work and get food. The stomach thought it should be boss, because it digested the food. The heart thought it should be boss, because it pumped the blood that allowed the food to be digested by the stomach. The brain said, “I have to send all the signals to get each of you to do your job, therefore I am the boss!” The asshole said, “I’ll show you who’s boss!” So he closed up and wouldn’t let anything pass. After a few days, the stomach ached… the hands were practically helpless… the feet could not carry the body . . . the heart was about ready to stop pumping blood… the brain’s signals were being ignored.

TO ALL THIS, THERE IS A MORAL. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A BRAIN TO BE A BOSS …. JUST AN ASSHOLE.”

(lan Dundes and Carl R. Pager, Work Hard and You Shall Be Rewarded: Urban Folklore from the Paperwork Empire, p100-01, 1975)

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