One of the basic tenents of Christianity is the resurrection of Christ. It is generally believed that this refers to JESUS CHRIST being crucified on the cross and then returning back from the dead three days later. While this makes for a nice story and the foundation for a world-wide religion, it is not what the resurrection of Christ refers to.
As is the case with so many events of the distant past, time has a way of distorting truth until it becomes pure fiction. Here is what really happened and what the resurrection of Christ really means.
Jesus and his 12 disciples were known as the "Desert Party Animals" in their day. Jesus and his men were constantly in party mode, drinking, dancing, fornicating, and sodomizing men, women, and children. Anyway, after a particularly heavy three days and nights of drinking and degenerate sexual activities Jesus laid passed out early in the morning. One of the party girls awoke from her drunken stupor and noticed that JESUS, while passed out drunk was laying between two young girls with a massive erection standing straight u
The woman, whose name is lost to antiquity yelled out, "Jesus Christ has arisen." "He's back from the dead." Actually she was referring to his ability to produce a very hard, hard-on, while being "DEAD DRUNK" after three days of constant partying. Well some very creative "spin doctors" of Christ saw this as a great way to create a GOD and a religion based upon the rantings of a drunk party girl of long ago.
This piece of historical fact has been brought to you by the many fine scholars at the Institute of Religion, a member institute of the Xona Institute of Institutions. Tomorrow we will examine the "MOSES MYTH" and explain what "The parting of the RED SEA" really referrs to.