God

That Useless Tit

By Rev Illuminatus Maximus / July 7, 2006 /

After three weeks in the garden, God came to visit Eve. "How's things, Eve?" He asked. "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful…but I just have this one problem. It's these three breasts you've given me. The middle one pushes the…

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Good News/Bad News

By Rev Illuminatus Maximus / July 7, 2006 /

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news", God said. Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to…

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God’s bag of creations

By Rev Illuminatus Maximus / July 7, 2006 /

Seems when God was just about done creating the universe, He had a couple of things left over in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Adam and Eve in the Garden. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up…

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Adam’s Rib #1

By Rev Illuminatus Maximus / July 7, 2006 /

So God makes Adam and Adam walks through Eden, simply existing. But things in Eden get a little slow so God says, "Adam, for you I will create a woman." Adam is interested. "She will be everything you could possibly want in a woman, she will be beautiful, professionally and financially successful, a great mother…

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Antinomian Antics: Sabotaging the Matrix

By Rev Illuminatus Maximus / December 12, 2005 /

Reprint of an article originally published in New Dawn Magazine #85, expanded and revised with original illustrations. An overview of the antinomian strain of gnostic Christianity, touching upon a variety of scintillating and outrageous themes!

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ART? Alternatives Issue #9

By Rev Illuminatus Maximus / February 1, 2000 /

Back in 1994, one man began having startling realizations about “the very foundations of [his] being.” He… discovered several texts describing gnosticism, one of the three main branches of primitive Christianity. “Somehow, these ancient Christian heretics had already discovered and written about almost every thing I had always suspected” [he later claimed]. Now, as the…

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Heretic alert!!!!!

By Rev Illuminatus Maximus / February 21, 1998 /

"Your crap that you are saying is nothing more than a heresy, a damnable heresy. You deny that Christ is God, and you deny that God is all powerful. Christ says that he and his Father are one, and that in order to come to the Father you must go through him. Here is the…

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A disgrace for all Christians

By Rev Illuminatus Maximus / January 29, 1998 /

"This is the most sickening I have ever heard. Your site is a disgrace for all Christians. God is a loving God and he made the Earth cause he was lonely, and not because it is a Jail. God is not a mad Scientist and Christ swithcing Bodies before the crucifixion, you are so sick!…

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