Jesus decided to go say hi to his old buddy St. Peter, so he strolled out to the Pearly Gates and noticed a HUGE long line of people waiting to get in.

St. Peter saw Jesus coming and said "Oh, thank goodness someone showed up! Listen, Jesus, there's a huge line of people out here, and I'm going bats trying to keep them all sorted out. Could you take over for a few minutes so I can take a break? I'd be ever so grateful!"

Jesus said that sure, it'd be fine with him to be in charge for a while, but he really wasn't sure what kind of stuff he should check for. St. Peter told him, "Hey, it's easy. A lot of them are already written down on the invitation list. Just make small talk with them while you look for their names. If they're not on the list, just tell them you're not the one normally in charge, so if they wait a bit, I'll deal with them when I get back."

So St. Peter left for a while, and Jesus handled the line of people, looking up their names and generally yakking it up with the folks waiting to get in. Eventually the line got to this one little old man. Jesus started talking to him, "So, what did you do for a living when you were alive?"

"I was a carpenter," the old man replied.

Jesus's ears pricked up at that answer. "Ah," He said. "Did you have a wife or any children?"

"I had one son, but I lost him."

Jesus started to suspect something was up with this little old man, and decided to ask another question. "Ah, a terrible loss, my good man. Tell me, what did he look like?"

"Well," said the old man, "he looked just like any other boy, I guess, except he had holes in his hands and his feet."

Jesus grinned broadly, opened His arms wide and cried, "DAD!"

The old man gasped. "PINOCCHIO!"

Rev Illuminatus Maximus

About Rev Illuminatus Maximus

Welcome to GnosticShock.com, online home of occult researcher and visionary artist Rev. Illuminatus Maximus.

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