Four Catholic schoolgirls all die in a car accident. They wind up at the Pearly Gates, and St. Peter says: "You're all virgins, so I can let all of you in, but first I have to take your confessions. Tell me anything you've done that is impure."

The first girl steps up and says, "St. Peter, I once touched a man's penis with my finger." St. Peter nods, and tells her to dip her finger in holy water, say a Hail Mary, and she can enter Heaven.

The second girl comes forward and says, "St. Peter, I once touched a man's penis with my entire hand." St. Peter says "All is forgiven my child, dip your hand in holy water, say two Hail Marys, and you may enter Heaven."

The third girl opens her mouth to confess, but all of a sudden the fourth girl elbows her aside and steps up to the saint. "What's the meaning of this?" he demands. "St. Peter," the girl says, "if you think I'm gargling with that stuff AFTER she dunks her ass in there, you've got another think coming!"

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